Like many unpublished writers, I spent a lot of energy and time researching the publishing world. I stalked, er, sought out, various agents, learning everything I could about their tastes before submitting my work. I sorted my rejections, replying to each and absorbing any direct feedback I received.
It was familiar. I knew the rules.
Now that I have an agent, I find that I'm in uncharted territory. We're on submission, but any rejections that have come in go to her, not to me. It's strange to not have up-to-the-minute information to fixate on. Honestly, it's difficult: when I was submitting my work, my overbearing type A personality was happy. I was constantly receiving information, which I could take or leave, but I know that the process was helping me to grow as a writer.
But now, I feel a bit helpless. I know that my goal to find the perfect agent was aiming towards this end, but now that I've found her, it's hard for me to sit back and twiddle my thumbs, without even rejection letters to analyze. I know she'll tell me if there's anything worth telling, but still, it's a whole different world. I know nothing about this side of the process, which is why I wanted to work with my agent in the first place. Ah, the circle of irony.
For awhile, I got lazy after signing with my agent. I stopped working on the trilogy that she's pitching, and played around with various other novels. I didn't realize I was wasting time, but I was.
Last weekend, I gave myself a tarot reading, and the results were pretty emphatic: if cards could shout, mine were yelling in frustration. "Do your work, stop wasting time, focus on what matters!" I've learned to listen to messages like that, wherever they happen to come from in the universe.
So I set aside the play novels, rolled up my sleeves, and dove back into book two of the trilogy. I have a lot of work to do before I can send it off to my agent, but it's work I love. And hopefully, this will keep me from obsessing too much about the fate of book one. It's out of my hands now!
And that's the hardest part.